by Jonathon Aslay
Here’s something that comes up a lot in my dating coaching sessions:
Is it okay to date more than one guy at a time?
I say it depends on how you define dating, and where you are in the dating cycle.
There Is A Huge Difference Between Casual Dating And An Ongoing Deliberate Dating Relationship.
The first is lighthearted and informal and has few expectations. It’s coffee in the park or lunch on a Saturday.
On the other hand, deliberate dating is more involved, and shows a certain level of commitment – even if you don’t call it that. It’s regular activities together, going to the movies, weekends away and even meeting each others family and friends.
Casual dating gives you a chance to learn a little about him and see if you “click.”
In fact, it might help to think of your first few dates as the interview process.
Flirt a little (or a lot), get to know him better, and decide if you want to take it to the next level.
At this point, dating several men is simply the most efficient way to narrow the playing field.
If casual dating is the interview process, then deliberate dating is the trial period, during which you decide if you want to keep him around permanently.
Once You’ve Entered The Deliberate Dating Phase, Multiple Partners Are Generally Not A Good Idea, For Several Reasons
Number one is the issue of sex. It’s just not smart to have more than one sexual partner at a time.
Both your physical and emotional health can suffer when you’re being intimate with more than one guy.
And how do guys feel about it?
Men might like the thrill of the hunt, but they certainly don’t want another hunter in their territory.
Many men will pull back at the first sign of a competitor.
And if the guy is serious about you, knowing that you’re dating more than just him may drive him away
Then there’s the risk of sending a message you don’t mean to send.
Just as men who date many women simultaneously gain a reputation of being a player, women who do it will earn the dubious title of serial dater.
That’s a big turn off for a lot of guys – especially those who are in a commitment frame of mind – you know, those guys you’re trying to attract.
So go ahead, meet a lot of guys.
The only way to find the right man for you is to “interview” a lot of applicants.
But before Saturdays at the farmer’s market turn into a weekend in the Poconos, make sure you focus your attention on one special man.
When I wrote UNDERSTAND MEN NOW ~ the Relationships Men Commit to and Why, originally I thought it would be an ebook just about understanding men.
As I began to write, I realized it was so much more about how you interact with men and really bringing the best YOU to a relationship.
The dating process is not only the beginning phase, it’s by far the most important because whether we like it or not, it’s an interview period and the job description is your boyfriend.
On page 107 of my ebook, there is a chapter called the POWER of 3.
In this section I talk about 3 dates, 3 weeks, 3 months and 3 quarters and the importance of these milestones in forging and maintaining a successful relationship.
Commitment ready men take the dating process very serious and truly prefer not wasting their time and I am sure YOU feel the same.
These men date and pursue relationship seeking women who want what they want… LOVE
If you are still in your casual (or practice) dating stage, a man might get turned off if you seem too unavailable or seeing other men.
Men who have a life vision that includes relationship (in his future) seek to only date one woman at a time until he finds a partner, these men are not about the chase (hunt).
Men who enjoy the hunt are not really in relationship mode, once they capture their prize they off to the next.
In my ebook UNDERSTAND MEN NOW ~ the Relationships Men Commit to and Why, the focus is on commitment ready men and what they seek in a partner.
So if you are ready for deliberate dating leading to exclusivity and commitment, dating one man at a time will serve you better in the long run.
Hoping you all find, fall and hold on to the love you desire.
Guy Spy into YOUR Man’s Mind
From Sarah: Jonathon KNOWS the male brain. He coaches women on how to “choose better” when it comes to men, and he has a huge following. We just LOVE him and know you’ll love his free tips, too – so go here to find out how you can succeed at dating->