by Gaye Wright
What gets me excited in a psychic reading is the opportunity to explore the energy dynamics that are going on between people and in particular situations. On the surface, it may seem that conflict is ruling the day, or that the relationship is in such a mess that it seems impossible to make any sense of it. That s where I come in as a kind of psychic sleuth, digging deep amongst the rubble sometimes, but always looking for clues as to what patterns are actually running the relationship. If you feel you re being controlled by another person in relationship, then look again at the patterns that are controlling the other person and you might discover the real source of control in your relationship.
Control in the other person?
The amount of control that you feel coming from another person in relationship to you is directly associated with the amount of control that a pattern is having over them. It s amazing how control infiltrates a relationship, to the extent that people are blaming and judging each other for being controlling, whereas a habit is often at the root of the problem.
An issue that comes up time and time again in a reading is with regards to wanting to know how the other person really feels about you. You are not getting the confirmation you need in order to feel comfortable. But what is really going on? Is it because the other person is so shy that they can t open their mouth to say the words you want to hear? Yes, that can happen. But often that lack of verbal communication of feeling is offset by other non-verbal clues that lead you to be confident of the feelings being mutual. It might come in the form of a bunch of flowers, or a text asking how you are or wishing you goodnight. But you might be still unsatisfied inside yourself, noting how easy it is to make those gestures. Where is the spoken commitment? It still comes back to wanting to hear the words, for the feelings to be named out there in the open. You are still feeling the control in the background. Or, is there another agent of control getting at you much closer to home?
Control in yourself?
Control could also be going on in you, in the fact that you can t trust your own intuition enough to know when someone is genuine, even though they are not saying the words.
You are convinced at some level of consciousness that you need those words to feel really comfortable, to be able to let yourself go deeper into your own emotions without getting hurt or making a fool of yourself. You need the reassurance that control promises. And intuition goes out the door when control walks in.
But intuition can be restored. It can once again become the eyes and ears in your relationship, to detect those more subtle energy flows that have far more effect than we realize. Our more subtle sense of what is happening in relationship is as important as the obvious gestures. But in order to get that sensory input working to your advantage, you have to be prepared to let go and allow things to come to you. You have to learn to relax into a receptive state of being so that you are not trying to control or vying for control. They are two sides of the same coin.
When you feel yourself getting anxious about what is happening, and you don t have the security of someone telling you how much they care or want to be with you, it is time to stop and take stock of what is really going on. There are simple measures you can take to find out where the root of the problem lies, and, if it lies in control.
HOW TO BE YOUR PSYCHIC SLEUTH
The first and fundamental lesson in becoming a psychic sleuth is learning to trust your intuition.
Your senses are constantly picking up vibrations and relaying them back to you as messages. Sometimes the message is loud and clear, like when you put your hand on the hot oven and burn it. Your senses start screaming at you to get away from the source of that sensation of hurt.
At other times, like in relationship, you can feel something niggling at you, but, because it is not affecting you in that physically sensitive way, you are not so sure as to what the message is. Many times we wait until the niggling does result in something tangible, like being cheated upon, before we realise that we were getting a definite message to get away from the thing, (or in this case, the person), hurting us. The least you can do for yourself is to listen carefully and not dismiss that niggling feeling inside you, particularly if it persists. If you don t ignore it, it will build up to the point where the agitation will feel like a screaming inside you. When you reach screaming point, you literally might find yourself screaming! Then all hope of an amicable settlement of the issue is out the window, along with your balance.
Does this sound all too familiar? It might not end up in something as dramatic as a break-up, but every little niggle that is ignored along the way undermines the trust in your relationship. So it is to your advantage, and the welfare of your relationship, to become a psychic sleuth in your own right, by learning to let your intuition guide you to the right kind of understanding and therefore the most empowering resolution to any issue, big or small.
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