Can you make a man feel or be romantic by asking him to be romantic?
Nope…It has to be experienced, doesn’t it?
He has to WANT to be romantic. He has to not only participate in the romance – he has to engineer it.
Even if he hasn’t a clue HOW to be romantic – he has to at least be motivated enough to do what he thinks YOU might find romantic.
But, we can’t not talk about romance, because – let’s face it – it’s CRUCIAL to us women.
We hear of men who really, really are romantic (Tom Cruise?) – working hard to think up romantic ways to propose marriage, to make romantic dates…all that.
But – is it that they’re really romantic? Or are they just competitive – trying to outdo the next guy (or the last guy in your life)?
Let’s start the discussion here (because we HAVE to talk about it…) about communication. Communication seems so dry and wordy and heady and totally unromantic. Communication feels like it has nothing to do with romance.
And yet – the truth is that..
Communication Has EVERTHING To Do With Romance
Romancing is not a science, but an art.
When you talk to your beloved, you talk not only with your words, but with your eyes and your body language.
How do you talk to a man to make him feel romantic, and to simply ENJOY the romance that naturally occurs between you?
Classic lovers swoon at the sight of their beloved. That’s on TV and in film and magazines at grocery store counters.
But what about real life? (And we see plenty of that on TV too – but it’s all manufactured – like the Bachelor and Bachelorette).
How do we expect a man to talk to us? How is it that he disappoints us continually?
The thing is – we BOTH want to share everything in each other’s life. We BOTH want emotional closeness and intimacy.
We BOTH want to share our dreams, our pains, our goals and even our failures. We want to share so that we feel KNOWN and GOT by each other.
We want to share our bodies. We want to share our hearts.
And THAT’S romantic.
Fake stuff like flowers means absolutely nothing when you don’t feel emotionally close to your man.
You don’t believe him when he apologizes if you don’t feel you can say anything to him, share your innermost thoughts and feelings.
Hearing him talk means nothing if YOU don’t ever feel HEARD.
Romance Has Its Own Flavor, A Different Flavor You Can Create On A Daily Basis
Romance is a different emotion compared to all other emotions.
It’s very different from emotions such as anger etc.
Romance is almost the creative ignoring of anything you don’t like about your man, and his ignoring (which is way easier for a man than for us women, and way easier than we imagine…) anything he doesn’t like about us.
We just see the good – and we GLORIFY it.
In love, the afternoon sun is as beautiful as the sunset.
Romance is about “wonder” – and it’s that feeling of being in the moment with total openness that not only changes the feelings between you – but it can change you – and HIM – as a PERSON…permanently and totally.
But, Coming Back To Communication, How Do You Do It In Romance?
Do you convey love every single day? Do you always talk about love? Are you afraid of conflict – thinking it might kill the romantic mood?
Do you steer away from anything troubling in conversation for fear it’ll kill the “pleasantnesss”?
So start here:
You don’t want things to be superficial.
Superficial kills romance.
Conflict actually BUILDS romance, if you do it correctly.
It has nothing to do with the feelings and if you think they’re “positive” or “negative.”
It has to do with SHARING those feelings – instead of BLAMING those feelings on him, or on yourself.
It has to do with ACKNOWLEDGING love and looking for the love and compassion in a situation instead of looking someone to “pin it on” – especially having compassion and forgiveness for yourself instead of always making things “your own fault.”
It’s about getting a new perspective where mistakes are considered to be a great part of the learning process instead of the beginning of some downward “slide.”
It’s about talking with your man from your heart, and allowing yourself to FEEL love for him no matter WHAT’S going on.
It has to do with APPRECIATING what you have before you start looking for ways to get more of it from your man.
We think romance has to do with only talking about positive things and avoiding everything negative. We think it’s about not even thinking about what we don’t like.
But that’s how we get caught in the trap of only staying on the surface of a relationship – in the superficial day-to-day and “chatty” stuff.
It may seem hard to square “real life” with romance – but that’s how it works.
You learn to see the “every day” with a sense of amazement and wonder and appreciation – and that way you keep the romantic “mood” going forever.
Romance means talking ABOUT the romance of things. Of the moon, and of the sun, too.
The romance of sunsets and the romance of washing dishes together.
The romance of long walks at the beach and the romance of short trips to the market together.
The romance of flowers and the romance of paying bills.
Seeing the romance in the “everyday” is the secret here – because, no matter what a man’s personality, he can start to feel romance with you and STAY in that romantic place forever.
For a man – washing dishes together and watching TV together can actually be VERY romantic!
Romance is a kind of dream of life.
Practice seeing it everywhere, all the time – and SHARING that feeling with your man – and you’ll see an amazing turnaround in the romance of your relationship.
Yes, some men are more naturally romantic than others. Some men have a heart for romance that’s even bigger than yours, and some couldn’t care less (though the tips in this article will help you melt the heart of even this kind of “by the book” man. If you want to know if a man has a romantic bone in his body as a starting point for you, you’ll want to check out our “Attract The Hell Out Of Him – Crack The Secret Code Of His Personality” ebook right here, and get the romance you want->