By Morgan Delaney
COMMITMENT: To pledge, promise, or engage oneself in a sincere involvement.
PHOBIA: Persistent, irrational fear or dread of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.
COMMITMENT PHOBE: Person with a compelling, irrational fear of emotional intimacy.
What woman searching for love doesn’t know the story? You finally find your Mr. Right. He loves you like you’ve always dreamed. He says the right words, does all the right things, and promises you “Happily ever after.” Then, he begins to leave you.
You swallow your pride and promise him more than he ever promised you, just so he will stay. You question your sanity for what was white is black; what was true is false; what was Mr. Right is, in reality, Mr. Wrong. Once you begin your long journey back to reality, you feel the gnawing fear that you may never trust the words “I love you,” again.
Michael’s first conscious memory of his mother was playing at her knee as she sewed on her sewing machine. Michael’s unconscious mind still secretly holds his sobs, pleas and tantrums that were never enough to attract her attention away from her work and towards him. To survive his despair, he learned to be a child comfortable with distance. That child remains, hiding deep in Michael’s mind.
Today, Michael is a very handsome, charming, and successful banker who drives women nuts. He is unaware that he has a problem, much less that his childhood trauma set him up to crave what he fears most: sharing authentic emotional intimacy with a woman.
Michael appears to be a man on a quest for love. He dates often, and wines and dines women like a pro. He knows what a woman needs to feel safe. He brings flowers on a first date, cries like a baby on the second, and melts hearts with “I love you” on the third. In between are endless calls and text messages, bordering on obsessive. He is a master of seduction as he leads a woman out of her common sense reality into his faux fantasy land. Her reluctance interests him, her resistance intrigues him. GAME ON.
Michael professes he wants to marry. To prove it, he’s been engaged three times, once coming frighteningly close to his actual wedding day. He told his future bride the devastating news…