virginiaby Virginia Feingold Clark

If you want to have happy relationships in your life it is important to treat others as you would like to be treated. This is not a new idea but somehow it is one which we have to constantly remind ourselves. This may surprise you, but people want to be around people with whom they feel safe.

Why is it so hard to remember to be kind? Well, being kind means being vulnerable and open. It means that you are not acting without thought; but you are consciously interacting with those around you in a caring and respectful way. It is easy to brush people off and not really see them as individuals, especially those who we feel we have little in common with us or those who provide a service to us.

Waiters and waitresses, parking valets, gas station attendants, grocery store clerks, post office workers all bear the brunt of our moods everyday. I hate to admit it but I have caught myself getting downright nasty to tech support operators who I believed just didn t get what I was trying to tell them. I usually catch myself and apologize, but I have already disrespected them and the damage is done.

It never feels good to vent out your own frustrations and stresses on other people, not really. Somewhere deep inside we know we are going against ourselves by going against others. At times we will get past the point where we can stop ourselves, but hopefully, as we become more aware and make the choice to be kind a conscious one, we can pull ourselves back.

The best way to stop yourself when you have become impatient and rude is to take a deep breath. This can have the effect of re-booting your mind and slowing it down so you can think more clearly. In a three second period, you can change any thought. So it takes three seconds to take a deep breath and you ask this question, is this really how I want to behave in this moment, is this going to get me what I want or need?

We are not happy when we treat others badly and it turns the world around us into a tense and unforgiving place.

Being kind requires no longer hiding behind the false sense of safety of our defenses. It requires the strength of vulnerability. Those who are open and giving of spirit create for themselves a reality that is not based on fear and attack but on peace.

I am reminded of the powerful photograph during the 60 s of a lovely young woman putting a flower in the barrel of a soldier s gun. Contrary to what the mind would jump to logically, the image implied that the more powerful person of the two was the woman.

Kindness is strength, and gives power to both the giver and the receiver.

Virginia

From Sarah: Virginia is my friend, and she’s amazing. To get your own free newsletters, and find out how she can help you have the man and marriage of your dreams with her book It’s Never Too Late To Marry – just go here->

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