From Sarah: A friend of mine – Britt Allen – who lives in Australia emailed me this great video with her deeply felt question:
From my friend Britt:
As a woman in the media who has faced many of the same issues in Australia as are highlighted in this video, I found myself powerfully moved by and agreeing with much of the content.
However I was a little ambivalent at the notion of “not masculinising men”, I noticed I felt a strong want/need for healthy masculine men – not the testosterone hyped types often portrayed in the media but not feminine men who are “the same as” women either.
And I do feel that gender differences need to be honoured for true equality to exist. Perhaps women just aren’t as drawn to positions of power because they are wired differently genetically?
And how do I reconcile the different urges I have within my relationship?
I found myself almost pulled into action by this video and yet, I know, to a certain extent, in my own relationship, I objectify myself with my partner and I was worried what he would think of me when I shared it on my facebook wall.
I love it when he compliments me on my looks (I used to be a model and have a very good body) and I started to feel afraid that he hasn’t complimented me on my intellect or talents. I love that he adores me for my body and I love being girly and feminine for him but how do I balance being a powerful woman with being feminine for my man?
Will he ever take me seriously if I continually am girly and sexy for him?? Will I become disempowered?
I know for a long time I’ve been very concerned about masculinity in Australia – the numbers of male prisoners outnumber females by ten to one, with similar statistics for our very high suicide rates and I’d really love to hear your views on this too (I feel we have a crisis of masculinity here).
If you blog about it, could you please let me know?
Love and warmth, Britt
I emailed the question and the video to Rori Raye – and here’s what she said:
From Rori Raye:
“I stand by this simple creed for a woman who wants both power in the world, and romance and love in her home:
Run the world, and let your man run the relationship.
The requirement for letting your man run the relationship is acting like a girl: Being instead of Doing. Feeling instead of Thinking. Expressing instead of Deciding. Receiving instead of Giving. Being an Invitation rather than Initiating OR actively “inviting.”
If you express how you feel, and he doesn’t care – then he’s not acting like a man and, to me, there’s no potential for relationship there.
A good man loves you for lots of reasons, and appreciates your smarts and talents, but mostly he just loves you because he does, and is able to love you because you accept him as he is.”
Note from Sarah: – I feel like this is a pretty important discussion right here…we’d love to hear your comments about this. Being feminine and feminist at the same time is, for me, the most powerful combination in the world – and doing it is the challenge we women have right now: To not have to choose between power in the world and love in our home.
Please let me know what you think!