by Eris Huemer
We have all, at some point and time, experienced a very bad break-up.
Out of the blue he tells you that he doesn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, or that he’s no longer “in love” with you, or he’ll no longer call or text you 10 times a day, or the worst he’s seeing someone else (or wants to).
Or, even worse you share a mortgage and kids together!
Suddenly, you feel like your life is over and you’ll never find a guy like him again.
You feel helpless and alone.
I get it. I’ve been there!
One of my new clients, Sheri, just emailed me this letter:
I have been dating this guy for the past 4 months. I am totally in love with him. We got along wonderfully, liked the same things, had similar goals and values. We loved to spend time together. He would call me three times a day and texted and e-mailed more. I met his friends and family. He told me that I was the one for him. I felt that he was the one for me. It seemed as if everything was positive with no negatives.
Then, out of the blue, things began to change. He slowed down on the calls. He didn’t want to see me. So, I called him. He informed me that his friends set him up on a date and he realized that he wasn’t ready to settle down. I said, “What about me and us?!” He informed me that he didn’t have feelings for me and he still needed time to explore.
I was (and still am) devastated.I thought that he was the one. This is so hard because my feelings for him won’t go away. I don’t know what to do. I want to be his friend in the hopes that he will come back to me. I want to win him back. I feel like we are meant to be together.
I cry every day. I can’t sleep at night. I m trying to keep busy but its not working. We still talk once in a while but he doesn’t want to get together. My hurt doesn’t go away. What can I do to get him back to me? Please Help!!!
I totally know how Sherri feels. I have been there. In fact, the man that I thought was my “soul mate”, ended things without a warning. We were planning our future together and I felt in my heart that he was “the one”. Or, so I thought.
He dumped me without a warning. I was devastated. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stop crying, and couldn’t manage my life without him.
What was even harder for me to except was the reality was that our relationship was O-V-E-R. He didn’t want to be with me anymore and I had a difficult time understanding why.
That break up was actually what inspired me to write my book
That being said, I suggest to Sheri, and so many other people going through this experience, to write my book Break-Up Emergency, my first step in becoming a relationship expert and helping people heal their broken hearts.
That being said, I suggest to Sheri, and so many other people going through this experience, to not try and win him back. I know how difficult this might be to hear right now but, the reality is that you are no longer together. All to often when a relationship ends, we dwell on what our ex did, is doing, or how to win them back.
This is NOT a good idea.
For now, I suggest that you erase his number, don’t text, e-mail, IM, drive by his house, show up where he goes, etc. (trust me, I know because I have been there).
During this time of healing your broken heart, you might experience fear, confusion, and intense emotions. I know that I did. If you do, I suggest that you write down or put a voice to whatever you are feeling, figure out what you can do about it, and do it. If you focus on healing your broken heart and set it as your most important intention right now, you will.
If you are meant to be together it will happen – eventually. But, not because you make it happen. (Trust me, there are no magical or manipulative tools that you can use to win him back.) The only thing you can do is take care of YOU, get YOUR power back, and become a strong individual.
Once you heal and become strong within yourself and get a hold of your feminine, you will give yourself the opportunity to attract a man who will give you the love that you want and deserve.
Many times we need to go through difficult experiences in order to change. So, the good news is that your relationship ending does not mean that your life is over. It means that it is about to begin!
Start reflecting on yourself and take an honest look at yourself in the mirror. You can use this Break UP experience and make it a Break THROUGH.
Eris is doing a special 6 week teleclass starting January 26th – you through Step-By-Step how to heal your broken heart and Transform your Break UP into a Break THROUGH – so you can (like the title of her terrific new book) go from Break UP to Break THROUGH AND BEYOND. You can find out more about Eris’s teleclass here->