The priority given to beauty in terms of attraction varies hugely by age group, social environment, and individual.
Most teenagers will respond that beauty is VERY important when attracting someone for dating and relationships. This represents the “kid” mentality, when the body is changing so much that a lot of stock is put in how it looks and how its appearance affects others.
Sometimes it takes experience to learn hard lessons about the real nature of beauty. Some of the most classically beautiful men I’ve met were not the slightest bit attractive, because they spent too much time working on their appearance at the gym and acting like all the world falls at their feet.
Maybe it does, but I certainly didn’t.
What Is Beauty?
As you get a bit older, beauty is still really nice to have in someone that you’re dating. However, the things that attract people become more complex and multifaceted as people become more complex and multifaceted.
Often the biggest factor in attracting people to you is appreciation of beauty in yourself, in others, and in the world around you.
Our limited pop-culture definition of physical beauty fades with age. And if you live by that definition, then you will be limited as well. If you find all things about you and your fellow humans that are beautiful because they express joy, they connect to memories, they represent humility or passion, then you’ll have a much wider net of attraction and attractiveness to cast on the world.
The Larger World
Now, redefining beauty for yourself doesn’t necessarily save you from the world where “beauty” is young and lean and smooth. You may still lose someone to a new lover seemingly because of appearance.
Our culture confers power on men who can attract “beautiful” women. A lot of mid-life crises are attached to a sense of diminishing power or prestige. So, it’s no surprise to see the stereotpe of the middle-aged man leaving his long-term, often supportive relationship or marriage for a young, “hot” woman.
If you’ve been through this, you know it knocks you in the ego, the heart, and the soul pretty hard. But if you let yourself feel beautiful and see beauty around you again – in the unique and mundane, the ordinary and the unusual – you will know that your well doesn’t run dry. You will attract another beautiful soul who is more worthy of you.
When you’re looking for a fantastic lifetime companion and lover, concentrate of someone who sees ALL your beautiful traits. And focus on seeing all of theirs.