by Christian Carter
Here’s a tip to capture a man’s attraction and desire to love you – and it’s something you might not have thought to try before –
It is actually opening and sharing more of your deeper FEELINGS, instead of your busy THOUGHTS.
If you try the new way I’m going to show you, then get ready to watch as you get a different outcome and response from your man that you might have not thought possible from around your feelings.
Here are some examples of what I’m talking about:
Let’s say you notice that your guy has a wandering eye, and it upsets you.
Should you say something?
Should you stay quiet and try to not let it bother you because “men are men”?
The key here is respecting yourself, your true emotions, and sharing what you’re feeling, not what you’re THINKING.
Otherwise, you’ll not only put more distance not more attraction between you and your man…
But he probably won’t know why you’re upset and he’ll eventually feel irritated that you’re unhappy for some unknown reason.
So if it’s your true feelings that are important, what do you say?
“You must not be attracted to me anymore since you obviously want other women.”
Wrong. This is sure to only create a new problem that probably isn’t about what’s really going on in the first place.
“I feel really scared and gross when you look at or flirt with other women in front of me.”
What’s Going on Here, and What’s the Difference in Terms of Attraction?
You’re talking about the same thing, but being open and honest enough to stick to your FEELINGS about what’s happening, instead of moving to judgment, is what makes all the difference with a man and making sure he listens, feels attraction, and opens up to you in return.
Let’s try another example.
Let’s say your guy doesn’t call and he’s 30 minutes late to meet you or pick you up.
How could he do that and not call?
If he had just called, it wouldn’t have been a big deal.
Why didn’t he?
“You’re either dumb or insane if you think you can show up here 30 minutes late and not call and I won’t be angry at you. What’s your problem?”
“I feel upset and confused because I don’t understand why you didn’t call.”
Do you see how the two feel very different?
How Does One Threaten Attraction and One Create It?
One feels very offensive, blaming, and antagonistic. It actually raises the level of conflict, and creates tension and distance.
The other one is an “opening” kind of question that actually allows for truth, honesty and promotes answers and understanding.
Oh, and which one do you think a man will respond better to?
Your thinking statements, or your feeling ones?
I can practically guarantee you that a man will either shut down and feel annoyed or withdraw from you, or escalate things and get into an argument with you and not give you any understanding if you used the thinking statements in the above situation.
But if you used the FEELING statements above, and you left space after them for your guy to say something…
Very quickly he’d start to listen, explain himself, and either apologize or give you the understanding and respect you just wanted in the first place.
But here’s a catch, and where most women mess this up even though they start out with their FEELINGS:
Once you open up and admit your true feelings, you can’t keep going on and on about it.
You have to allow time for a man to process what you just said, and not “rush” things just because you feel uncomfortable and want him to hear you and say something immediately.
Most men – about 99.9% of them – do NOT move this fast from one emotion to the next.
So when you try and take them with you on that ride, things will just turn ugly.
Your friend in love, Christian
From Sarah: Christian is one of my favorite “attraction” experts, because he combines some great insight with some really practical and applicable ideas. His masculine viewpoint is unique, kind, right-on and so helpful. Visit his website and let him fill your life with love and attraction–>>