by Ann Covell

I believe we are all worthy of love.

I believe we are all deserving of love. I don’t know a person who would disagree with me on this except when it comes to our selves. This is where the belief system gets a bit stuck. It reminds me of the old Groucho Marx saying, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member…”

Many of us know in our heart what our intentions and desires are but we don’t feel worthy enough to ask for it. Are we being too pushy, too demanding, too specific, too hopeful, too fearful? I suspect, we aren’t asking for enough.

When asking for something and putting out intentions it is so important to be clear.
This is not the time to settle, to play small, or to ask for crumbs. Be brave – put it out there and see what comes back.

What we ask for is very revealing of what we feel we deserve.

The words we use and the feelings behind the words are symbolic of what we desire. Be mindful of them. Hold a mirror up to them. See what they are telling you.

A client of mine recently e-mailed me a list her intentions:

I want a man who is smarter than me; someone who comes home every night and has an artistic nature.

I found this rather sad. These were the words of someone expecting and willing to settle for the crumbs, more of a reaction against what she had experienced in the past rather than intentions to create a strong, loving relationship in this moment. There was no juice, no passion, and no energy in her words and no belief that finding love was a true possibility.

She is, in fact, very bright and accomplished. Her wish is not really for someone who is “smarter than her” -it is for a man who intellectually challenges and stimulates her mind. She doesn’t just want a man who “comes home every night” she wants a life partner to take the journey of the heart with her.

Put a positive spin on your intentions. It is more effective and heart affirming to ask that you and your partner find a way to communicate in a respectful, loving way than to say you want to stop fighting all the time.

Wouldn’t you rather put forth the intention to attract a loving relationship than settle for someone just to stop feeling lonely?

At first glance the results may feel the same but they are not. It is the difference between getting to the place you really want to be and putting a band-aid to the place it hurts.

Imagine this in action- if you choose to find a way to disagree with your partner in a loving, respectful way, the outcome will open doors to deeper communication. If you just ‘want to stop fighting’ this could happen by having a partner walk out the door. If you find someone just to fill the lonely hours, chances are you will create more of the same.

This time of the year, as you continue to paint the picture of love that you want to manifest in the year of the earth ox, consider well what you want.

You may just get it.

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