It struck me, that while we all learn about the internet, new gadgets, how to post on facebook and probably some boring stuff for work, how many people make the effort to learn about what makes a relationship work and be truly great?
For some reason most of us seem to take for granted what is probably most important aspect of our lives and make almost no effort to actually learn what makes it tick.
We’ll spend hours figuring out how to get apps onto our mobile phones but put no thought into how to make our relationship flourish.
I think the same applies to sex for a great many of us. Once we know what goes where – that’s the extent of the learning.
What about you?
Are you making the effort, in or out of a relationship, to learn what can make great even greater?
I know it’s so easy to pin the blame for everything that goes wrong in relationship to a “man.” It’s easy to label any man as clueless, afraid of intimacy, even a “jerk.”
And sometimes all that’s happening is that we’re continually picking the same kind of man (who’s not really emotionally available or suited to us to begin with) – and then doing and saying the same things over and over that didn’t work in the past.
The hard part of examining what role we’re playing in our relationships, and what we’re instinctively doing that isn’t working for us is that we so much of the time want to BLAME ourselves! I mean, if we get tired of blaming him, and we realize that blaming him is a waste of our time — then who’s left to blame but us!?
So, especially for me, finding this “middle point” where I’m aware of my anger and frustration, but not purposefully blaming myself or him, is the terrific and powerful place.
I discovered that if I just sort of look inside myself and sink into my feelings as often as I possibly can — I can know what to say and what to do with so much less stress and so much better results.
And I’ve also discovered that if every time I try to blame myself for something I did or didn’t do, I forgive myself, and then look for my most genuine feelings in that moment and honor them — I find myself much more emotionally open and vulnerable — and so much more attractive to men.
All of a sudden — my relationship gets better.
So, don’t be afraid to look back at what’s happened in your relationships that didn’t work. Even the ones that went badly.
Just be sure that you do it in a spirit of discovery and investigation — and if your inner voices, like mine, start to scream at you and blame you for “whatever” — quickly forgive yourself and just… well, try something new!
Try something new that you find here at LoveRomanceRelationship, and let me know how it works for you…
Sincerely, Sarah for
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