by Amy Twain
What is an unsolicited advice? It’s advice given without being asked for in the first place.
You may ask, so why is this bad–I only wanted to help?
Well, first things first–advice wasn’t being asked or requested.
Aside from the fact that you are meddling into other people’s affairs, it’s like putting you–the adviser, in a “one-up” position. It means that “you know” and the other party doesn’t. Otherwise, you would not be dishing out advice, right?
Unsolicited Advice Spurs Negative Feelings
And the other person on the unsolicited advice receiving end, he’s in a “one-down” position, so he tends to respond negatively, even though you may mean well and the advice may have been really good.
Usually, the person’s response to the unsolicited advice is not even related to whether the help given is good or not. Maybe for them what they’re doing is good enough based on their own standards or through experience, so they don’t need any help at all.
You have to realize that good intentions do not always equal better relationships or even good communication.
You might mean well, and you’re offering your help, and you may reason that you’re just being proactive and taking the initiative. Remember that you might even get hurt or miffed because the other party didn’t appreciate your effort in giving suggestions. It doesn’t always end nicely.
Offering unsolicited advice is not really bad, it’s just unnecessary.
What to Offer Instead of Unsolicited Advice
Next time, let people really describe and talk out their issue before simply surprising them with your “wisdom and sound judgment” — which may not be pleasant to them at all. In this way, you give them time and space to share enough information with you.
Ask them a lot of questions.
They might figure out the best thing to do without any advice at all (and they may not tell you what they’ve figured out, just trust them and listen).
From Sarah: The author of this article, Amy Twain, is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Unlock the secrets to the silent language of success. Amy’s book on Self-Esteem is the best thing we found out there, and you owe it to yourself to take a look at her free videos and what she has to offer. Constantly getting unsolicited advice (and giving it) is no fun, and runs down your self-esteem, so check Amy out here->