by Virginia Feingold Clark
Do you feel stressed out and afraid because you know you should be having “The Talk” with your man? Have you been in an exclusive relationship with him for more than a year and are you still waiting for him to bring up the subject of your future together?
It’s frustrating to hold back something that you want to say — something that is always on your mind, sort of like ignoring the elephant in the room. It takes a lot of energy to hold in your feelings, it can be exhausting.
This was one of the hardest things for me to overcome in my relationships. I let too much time go by, afraid to speak up about our possible future together. But eventually my worry and anxiety would make me blurt something out, but never at the right time or with the right words.
You can learn to do it better than I did. I teach you how to have “The Talk” the right way in my book: “It’s Never Too Late To Marry”
How to Approach “The Talk”
Ask yourself, is it now the time (or past the time) to finally bring up the subject of your future together, to find out if your man is on the same page with you or if you are just hanging in there with “wishful hoping.”
Here are three important tips to help you go through the process of having “The Talk” when it is time:
1. Whatever you do, do not start this conversation when you are upset.
If you’ve been bottling up your feelings for too long, you may reach a boiling point where out of the blue you attack him with anger and blame. Most men will respond to anger with anger. You will not be able to have a sane conversation about the future at this point, you will only be driving a wedge between you. Wait until you feel calm and centered to broach the subject.
2. Do not play the victim and blame him for not talking about this earlier.
You need to take responsibility for your part in letting things go on for so long without speaking up. He’ll appreciate that you are not making him the “bad guy” and be much more open to anything you have to say.
3. Do not demand that he give you an answer right away if he can’t.
Most men usually need to take time think and process their thoughts about important matters. Remember, you may have been thinking about this for months or years and this is the first time he’s hearing about it. Give him the space and time to consider what his life would be like without you so he can give you an honest answer.
There are many more things you need to consider when you’re having “The Talk” and I go into greater detail in my book.
“The Talk” the Right Way
Having “The Talk” in the correct way can change the course of your relationship and make the difference between getting married or not, so take it seriously.
This could be one of the most important conversations you have with your man, it’s important to prepare to do it right. I can coach you through the process if that is what you need.
And as always, if you need more support on how to get married, or with any relationship problem, take advantage of my 30-minute No Charge Phone Consultation.
I am so happy to be connecting to you here and I welcome your questions and your thoughts.
In the meantime don’t forget, things can change in an instant, don’t lose hope!
From Sarah: Virginia is my friend, and she’s amazing. To get your own free newsletters, and find out how she can help you have the man and marriage of your dreams with her book It’s Never Too Late To Marry. She’ll get you all set to have The Talk ->