by Orna and Matthew Walters
This week’s relationship question comes from Claudine:
“I listened to your entire series (Love on Purpose Revolution) and enjoyed it thoroughly! I have not been in a relationship in more than ten years and I feel that something is blocking me.
I am a 46 year old professional woman. I have tried asking people to fix me up and dating on line. I do have a ten year old son and I work a lot (during certain times of the year). However, I have been able to make myself available for dating.
I look around and say . . . “everyone can find someone, why can’t I?” I do not have a defeatist attitude normally, but I am starting to feel that maybe it is just not in the cards for me. I do not want to feel that way but it has been such a long time and every time I feel that I can be with someone . . . things don’t pan out.
Please tell me what you think . . . honestly. Thank you for your time.”
Our Relationship Advice
We don’t believe that sometimes “it just isn’t in the cards.” Love is not limited and is not just available for some people. The key for you is to begin to look at the limiting beliefs you have about love. Notice any thought or belief you have about love and a relationship that constricts you or makes you feel defeated. Ask yourself what is the root of this belief?
Now begin to replace the negative belief with a positive affirmation. For every negative thought you discover you can create a positive affirmation to counter it. Or you can work with one or two simple affirmations like “Love is available to me at all times,” or “I feel great as I discover love in so many areas of my life,” and “I am worth loving.”
You also need to become clear on what you desire in relationship. Be very specific. Focus on values, personality traits and internal qualities, not on physical traits or external qualities. If it is important that your soul mate be successful, then focus on the qualities that made him that way, not the amount of money he makes.
Then go through the list and ask yourself: – “Do I hold/have this quality?” If not, how can you cultivate it? Now start cultivating those qualities. Be the person you are seeking to be with. This is not about him completing you. One plus one does not equal one. You are complete and whole within yourself. What this process does, is it allows you to see where you can improve in being whole and feeling whole yourself.
Have an Excellent Relationship with Yourself
Now you know what you want, get out in the world and do the things you love. The best way to meet someone who shares your interests and values is to meet them doing things you already love. Stop waiting for your friends to fix you up with someone and take action – whether it is online or out in the world. You will not meet someone if you keep doing the same old things, so be bold and explore new opportunities and adventures.
Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.
Love and Abundance,
Orna and Matthew
From Sarah: Orna and Matthew are the only couple working together coaching women on relationships getting the amazing kind of results I personally know they’re getting – you’ll LOVE their ebook-plus-audio program Get Your Mr. Right – it will turn around EVERYTHING you believed about getting the lifelong love you want and help you so fast it’s incredible – just check out Get Your Mr. Right here to get the relationship you want->