by Rori Raye
It’s so easy to get extra sensitive when your picture of things gets “small” – it totally effects your relationship with a man in so many ways.
It can make you feel like you have to balance two extremes – either being “weak” or a “bitch.”
And we’ve seen out there in the world how easy it is to get “labeled” as a “doormat” or a “bitch,” (ever happened to you?) and we’ve even seen that turned around with the idea that men LIKE “bitches.” It can get confusing and tricky.
I’ll write more about that (men don’t like “bitches,” they like women who are REAL) in later posts, but for now let’s see how you can find a way to WEAVE these two extremes into your life so that you can embrace BOTH your “weakness” and your “bitchiness” and still find a sense of peace, calm, strength and emotional softness somewhere in the middle.
This Is Important to Your Relationship
This is a HUGE issue, and I really want you to write and comment so I can expand on it, develop new Tools about it and help you as much as I can with it.
Let’s say you want something from your man and your relationship – like more attention or affection or time, but he’s being distant and pre-occupied. Let’s say you’re feeling irritated and angry, and frightened that something’s going wrong in the relationship.
If you’re in this situation now, or if you’ve ever been here, are you feeling that if you don’t speak up and ask for what you want you’re “weak,” and if you DO speak up and ask for what you want you’ll end up a “bitch”?
So – first – do this: Make quick, everlasting and final PEACE with yourself – that WHATEVER you do or say, you will be okay with yourself, forgive yourself, and learn from the experience. This sets you up to SUCCEED, and will help you with the fear.
Now, Steps Toward Balance in Yourself and Your Relationship:
- Close your eyes
- Open your eyes and go get a piece of paper and a pen or pencil
- Put a line down the paper from top to bottom
- On the left side of the line, write down what you want to say to him. Take as many pieces of paper as you need, but stick to the left side of the paper.
- Now – take a look at what you’ve written. CATCH yourself JUDGING yourself about every line, and CATCH whatever feeling each line brings up in you – anger, frustration, fear, a smile (some of it might be really funny and make you laugh!)
- Last step is to rewrite EVERYTHING on the left (some of it will seem weak and doormat-like to you, and some of it will seem dramatic and bitchy to you) in FEELING MESSAGES (you can learn exactly how to do this in my ebook, and then see demonstrations of how to talk in Feeling Messages with a man in all my products – for now simply use the words “I feel,” or “I’m feeling” in every single sentence and completely cross out and do not use the word YOU).
Just doing this small writing exercise instead of trying to talk to your man from either of the doormat/bitch extremes will make a HUGE difference for you, so if you’re in this kind of situation, and you want something or you’re angry about something – do this right now and let me know how it felt for you.
From Sarah: Rori’s always coming out with new insights and ideas for your love life. And she comes from such a real and genuine place. The steps and approaches she explains in her ebook are incredibly invaluable. Find out the many ways she can help you with your relationship ->