Are you accidentally sucking the passion out of your relationship like a love vampire? Passion is a vital force that can be sucked out of a relationship like the heart blood out of a body.
Before the Love Vampire: The Lover
Some people are Lovers, meaning their focus is the connection, the intimacy of giving and receiving. If you are a Lover, you are always aiming to share your gifts and talents, sometimes with the world at large, sometimes in a one-on-one relationship, whether a friendship, a marriage, or a relationship with a co-worker.
You enjoy fusing your essential being with everything in life. For you, connecting with other people makes you feel grounded, secure, happy, comforted, and loved.
Since relationships are the focus of your life, you are always in need of them. And you have so many wonderful things to teach others about intimacy and how to love. You have the ability to light up the world, because your openness makes you irresistible. Your glow ignites the glow in others and helps them grow into their full potential.
But sometimes, in darker time, the Lover’s glow can cast a shadow. In tough times, Lovers are at risk of becoming “energy” or “love vampires,” trying to connect too fiercely and ultimately smothering the flame. The Love Vampire can be desperately needy, self-centered, and depleting. Everything turns on its head, and anger can cause a Vamp to strike out in an attempt to hurt those who hurt them. The Love Vampires can create drama after drama that will end up driving people out of their lives.
The Appeal of the Love Vampire
Just like mythical vampires, Love Vampires can be very charismatic and sexy. They easily charm new lovers. As long as the experience or relationship lasts, the Vamp will make the other feel like the most fascinating creature in the universe. The trouble is, it may not last long. Vamps are constantly attracted to the unavailable. They actually don’t want to be members of any team that would have them, because deep inside, they feel uncomfortable with themselves.
When Lovers become Vamps, their special talent for intimacy becomes a way for them to feed off the energy of others. They can no longer nurture themselves. They seduce others to validate themselves in the mistaken belief that this gives them an identity. On their own, they can’t see how beloved and wonderful they are.
Now, don’t let this depress you. Remember every “Passion Signature,” the signature style you use to express yourself and seek fulfillment, has light and dark qualities. The love vampire is only the unhealed aspect of the Lover. Knowing this you can gain perspective and overcome your love vampire, your commitment phobia and fully become your best and strongest self.