Eris Huemer.jpgby Eris Huemer
Are you at the point in your life where you say to yourself, “All Men Are Jerks!”

One of the things that I hear my women clients (and gay male friends) say over and over again when they first come to me is:

“Where have all of the good men gone?” and “All of the good guys are taken!”

Do you have a history of dating the same “Mr. Wrongs” over and over again?

Do you seem to repeat the same issues in relationships time and time again?

If so, then it’s easy to believe that ALL MEN ARE JERKS.

The truth is that all men are NOT TAKEN and NOT EVERY ONE IS A JERK.

Of course there are some situations where the man is not on his “best behavior.” So, why were you with him in the first place? And even more importantly – why did you stay?

The question for you is: what are you doing in your relationships that attract the same men and situations over and over again? What is it in you that you need to heal?

See, it’s not all about him and what he is doing or has done.
Thinking that all men are jerks is a limiting belief on love.

More limiting beliefs about love are:

All men cheat. They can’t be trusted.
All good men are taken/married.
I don’t deserve love.
There is no love for me.
I am unlovable.
I don’t deserve to be loved.
Love doesn’t really exist or last.
Who would want me? I’m too old, fat, unattractive…
I’m too busy to date.
Love is pain, so I don’t want it

I suggest that you change your negative thinking and know that there are great guys (and girls) out there. Shift your Limited Beliefs on love to Unlimited Beliefs about the Abundance of love.

A few common examples are:

There are faithful and committed men. They can be trusted.
There are many available men.
I deserve love.
I have so much to offer a mate!
Men are constantly asking me out on a date.
It’s never too late for love.
There is such thing as love and I embrace it in my life.
There is enough time in the day for me to date.
Love is joyful because I get to grow and become more of my best self.
I create love in my life everyday.
I am always connected to a power that is greater than me (whatever it is me) to attract me to the relationship of my highest & best good.

Now it’s your turn.
What are your new Unlimiting Beliefs about the Abundance of love?
So, the answer to the first question is:

The good men have gone nowhere.
Its up to you to get yourself out there and find him.

Love, Eris

Eris is the real deal – her free newsletters are great, and her book on not just surviving a breakup – but getting a better man afterwards is terrific – go here to get her free newsletters->


  1. gokendra on March 2, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    This article is right. I was one of those women who believed that all men are either taken or jerks. Then I met my current boyfriend, and my view of men completely changed. I was so shocked to find out that he wasn’t a liar, cheater, or already taken. I am so glad that I took the chance to get to know him before completely writing him off because of his gender. I have had the best time of my life with him. Trust me, take the chance when meeting a new man you might like. You may go through a few bad breakups, but it is worth it to find a soulmate you can share your life with.

  2. LauraRicciardi on March 3, 2009 at 7:40 am

    This is very interesting. I think many women, even ones who are involved in successful relationships, tend to think things like those (all men are the same etc). Personally, I think that’s not even remotely true, so I particularly agree with this:

    There are faithful and committed men. They can be trusted.

    It’s just a matter of finding them, really. It can be hard, and failure can make you look for the easier way (“I met X men and they were all jerks, all men are jerks”), but generalizations are just never good.

  3. fah2305 on March 4, 2009 at 5:39 am

    Woman’s general opinion about men are that all the men are jerks, but my opinion about this article is that the author is giving them fair trial. I totally agree that “Its up to you to get yourself out there and find him.”

  4. kasey on March 10, 2009 at 5:13 am

    But why do i seem to always attract that type of guy?
    I’ve been single a while now and Yeah i have been on a few dates but they all seem to end up like jerks.They tell you they really like you and then don’t call.Then half the time they don’t call or reply when you ask why.Then you blame yourself and think its you.When clearly its them to blame.I’m really getting used to these jerks now they seem to cling on for a while and then throw you off.

  5. Lori on March 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    If you think there are such great men out there, then where do you find them? I have heard that over 80% of relationships start on job sites, but if you don’t have an office job or one that puts you out there among them, where do you go? I refuse to go to bars.

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