worry“Hi Dominique!

I have a very similar situation to yours –  He watches porn and has a problem ‘obsessing‘ about the ‘little things.’

I have written to a few other relationship experts and each one gave me the same answer which was to get rid of my man.

I can’t just get rid of a man I Love. I think most people dump their SO at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes our SO may need help with himself. I don’t think it’s fair to just dump him. He knows what his problem is and has made an appointment to see a counselor so I think it’s worth it to stick with him. Thanks, Sylvia.”

Hi  Sylvia,

I couldn’t agree with you more. Even more so because he’s aware of his shortcomings and obsessing and is actively doing something about them.

You didn’t say whether he has a problem with porn, meaning is he addicted, or does he neglect you in favor of porn?

From the little you say, it appears that either he doesn’t, or you have a good handle on this. You know that this is HIS issue, if it indeed is an issue, and it has NOTHING to do with you, whether you’re good enough etc.

You also don’t say much about his obsessing. This is not so awful unless he becomes a crazed person, either violent or refusing to let something go when you’ve assured him about whatever it is.

Obsessing about anything can interfere with your relationship, BUT he’s aware and is seeking help.

This is all good and positive. You might consider going with him a time or two.

And when and if he talks to you about his stuff, just listen. Allow him a safe space to unload.

I think this relationship will be just fine as long as you can keep things in perspective while he works on his problems.

Love, Dominique

From Sarah:  Dominique’s the one to talk to when it comes to issues of porn and obsession.  She found her own way through such a mess with her guy and they have come out happy and healthy on the other side.  Learn more about her story and how she can help you if you’re finding yourself thinking so much about your man – or if he’s been obsessing.

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