by Virginia Feingold Clark
Question: “I’m in a relationship with this guy that I love. I have never felt the way I feel about him toward anyone. He says he loves me just the same however I feel a lack of motivation or commitment from him.
He rarely plans dates anymore, I have to always ask for sex and he has said he doesn’t see a future between me and him. He says we won’t be ready to get married till 4 or 5 years down the line and all he is looking for right now is a girlfriend.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. Help Please?????”
I feel for you; you are in love with this man but you are obviously not happy with state of your relationship at this time.
Love is expressed through the actions one person takes to please another. Words don’t count for much when there are no loving actions following them up.
What Do You Really Want For This Relationship?
The most important thing I want you to ask yourself is: What do you want from this man?
It seems to me that you don’t want to be just a girlfriend, you want to be married.
He has told you he doesn’t see a future with you, and that’s a pretty direct statement. Are you willing to gamble away 4 to 5 years of your life on the chance that he will want to marry you then?
If he is not taking the initiative to make you happy in the relationship it is highly unlikely things will improve with time. In fact, all you can base the future on is the present because he is showing you now who he is and how he feels. You don’t want to get into “wishful hoping,” just waiting to see if things get better.
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