fatby Andrea Albright

I want to discuss a fear that I’ve found keeps a lot people from losing the fat they hate so much.

Thought for the day…

“It’s not arrogant for a flower to bloom.”

I wish I came up with that, but I actually heard it third hand. A friend of mine got it from the teacher in her yoga class.

The teacher was saying that realizing your full potential, whether in your fight is against fat or bad habits or an unhealthy mentality, is something that embarrasses a lot of people…

Think about that for a moment– because not only is it very true– but is very, very weird.

Most people, especially women, feel like there is something embarrassing about even ADMITTING to their big dreams of what they want themselves to be… or to look like.

It sounds selfish and shallow to want to walk through the world as a beautiful person with a beautiful body.

Somehow, in our society, there is this idea that if you want to be the very best YOU that you can be… that it is a little bit arrogant, like you are showing off, like maybe you should be ashamed about wanting to really drop your fat and blossom into something beautiful and wonderful.

And society, your friends, maybe even your family probably reinforce this negative idea.

Think about this for a minute… really think about it…

What Would Happen If You Lost Your Unnecessary Fat?

How would your best friend feel if you suddenly started getting really into working on your health and body?

How would she feel if you really TRANSFORMED into somebody who was as beautiful and radiant on the outside as your inside already knows that you COULD BE?

Sure, your friend would be happy for you…

But also, unless your friend is a VERY special and evolved person, probably there would be some resentment that you have changed, that you have improved, that you have blossomed and realized your full potential… and she has not.

It’s not evil, it doesn’t make her or him a bad friend. It’s just human nature.

But it’s very self-defeating.

Nobody ever looks at a flower and thinks, “Wow that plant is so arrogant! What a show off that plant is.”

Why not?

Because for a flower, blooming is simply the natural and right thing to do.

Flowers are supposed to bloom. It’s “God’s plan.” Nature doesn’t want the flower to be modest.

And, really, there is no lack of modesty in the flower realizing its full potential and opening up to the sunlight to show off all of its dazzling color.

And it’s exactly the same for you.

Look, I realize that this might sound like some new-agey, mumbo-jumbo.

It’s not.

If you are totally honest with yourself, you have to admit that part of the reason that you are not losing the fat or enjoying fully blooming into the person that you COULD BE is that on some level you don’t believe that you DESERVE it.

You feel like suddenly losing fat, getting into shape, taking care of your body, and becoming beautiful would make you shallow or beauty obsessed, or that people would say, “oh, look at her, all she ever does is show off how HEALTHY she is.”

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1 Comment

  1. fatty mcfatterson on March 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    blogs are annoying when there is no date on the post. i have no idea when you wrote this blog, but i will add my comment anyway.

    my issue is not entirely the fear of blooming but rather the fear of others reaction. not friends and/or family but rather men. strange men. going from being an enormous being who is virtually invisible (odd, but true) to being a super fox who always attracts attention is a bit overwhelming but never do i see this issue addressed.

    having been on both sides of the fat/fit body i know that is a major obstacle/issue for women. why do you think so many men realize that ‘former fatties’ are a ‘sure thing’? because the former fatty does not know how to deal with this new attention. does not know boundaries and how to say “scram, creep!” especially when the creep is a very handsome and charming man, with one single intention: bedding the beauty.

    fat is safety from this sort of situation. no worries about sleazy dudes trying to grope you or chat you up. and i am not putting the blame on the men but rather i am stating that i personally do not know how to deal with this crap and i am 43 years old!

    i, personally, was fat as a child until about age 26. then i lost a lot of weight. was i taken advantage of? hell yes i was. even by men i thought were my friends. luckily i met a wonderful man and fell crazy in love with him. i felt safe to be beautiful in having a boyfriend. but fast forward 8 years later. relationship falls apart and so do i. i gain back enough weight to take me out of the ‘potentials’ pool. i feel safe again but so damn sad and angry at myself for letting things get so out of hand regarding my weight. beating myself up for not losing it again. then i finally realized what it is. it is not knowing how to deal with this situation. i find that when i lose a bit of weight and start to look better men react so strongly to it. it truly is like going from being invisible to being visible and desired. it freaks me out so much and i have no idea how to handle this that i end up packing on those 10 lbs again just to make it stop. and then i feel bad because i am fat and lazy and lonely… blah blah blah.

    it’s a super messed up cycle i am in and i cannot seem to be able to figure a way out of it. an internet search brought me to your blog posting but really i don’t see the relation or relevance. my ideas where to lie about being single and claim to have a boyfriend. it is just i am a terrible liar. not very believable. claim to be lesbian. but again with the lying thing.

    idk, i suppose i need some therapy to figure this out…

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