by Holly Riordan

1. You are under no obligation to stick with someone who is unable to see your value. In fact, it’s better if you leave people like that in your past. It’s unfair for you to wonder whether you’re doing enough for someone, whether you’re meeting their expectations, whether they even care about how much effort you’ve been putting into your relationship. They should make their love for you obvious. You shouldn’t have to beg them to show you some sort of affection. It should be given freely, openly, all the time.

2. You’re allowed to ask for more. You shouldn’t settle for whatever you’re getting, simply because you’re afraid of chasing someone away by asking for more. If you’re unhappy, then you need to speak up. You need to have an open and honest conversation about what is lacking in your relationship. And if that person cannot rise to meet your expectations, then you should find someone else who will.

3. However, some people aren’t as vocal about their emotions as you might hope. It’s important to know your love languages, because the people you feel are neglecting you might be showing their love for you in ways you cannot see. You might be waiting for them to vocalize their feelings through love notes and sappy texts, but they might be showing it through acts of service or quality time. They might think they’re doing everything right while you’re sitting there wondering what you’re doing wrong. This is why it’s important to communicate. To understand each other. To see where the other person is coming from before you assume they couldn’t care less about you.

4. You know how much you’ve accomplished, even if no one else is acknowledging it. You shouldn’t feel less successful, simply because no one else is around to pat you on the back for what you’ve accomplished. You know what you’ve done. You know how much work you’ve completed. You know you should be proud, so who cares what anybody else thinks? You shouldn’t measure your success based on the surrounding applause.

5. You have to keep doing the right thing, even when no one else is watching. You shouldn’t let yourself believe that everything you’ve been doing is useless because nobody seems to care. You need to keep going. Keep putting in the effort. Keep trying your hardest. If a certain passion of yours really matters to you, then you’ll keep going, even if you aren’t getting any acknowledgment. You’ll do it because you love it. Because it makes you happy.

6. You don’t actually need someone else to make you feel worthwhile. You shouldn’t base your worth on your current relationship status or the number of texts on your phone or the amount of likes on a photo. Your worth should come from within. You should learn to appreciate your beauty, learn to respect your own boundaries, learn to love your body and your mind. Instead of going out into the world, searching for love, try looking for it inside of yourself first.

Holly Riordan has amassed over a million views on articles about relationships, mental health, and self-improvement. She writes about love, loss, and anxiety during the day and science fiction, fantasy, and horror by night. 

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