by Mirabelle Summers
>>If you want a second chance with your ex, you need to check out. Let’s look at RELATIONSHIPS.
Specifically: PAST relationships.
If you’ve been through a difficult breakup (is there really any other kind?) and you want to win your ex BACK, you should know that there are particular, proven protocols in place to help you do so …
… just as there are specific things that you should NOT do, because – even though they ‘feel’ like the right thing to do – they can actually throw a big old lug wrench in the works.
Here are three MISTAKES that most men fall into the trap of making when it comes to ‘getting an ex back’ … usually, without even REALIZING that they’re even MAKING a mistake.
Number one: it’s trying to FIX THINGS. A relationship isn’t a gadget that gets ‘broken’, and the whole notion of ‘fixing things’ is just completely misleading and poisonous.
When you say fix, it sounds as if you can keep the working parts, replace the broken ones, and make it like new again. But – as it turns out – real life is different. You can’t “fix” a broken relationship like it’s a dropped cellphone.
Relationships end for a reason. And even if you DO end up getting back with that person, you should try and steer AWAY from the notion of a ‘fixed relationship’.
Instead, think of it this way: as a WHOLE NEW RELATIONSHIP with a WHOLE NEW PERSON.
This is actually the most accurate and honest way of dealing with a 2nd chance: because quite frankly, neither of you are the same people you were before the breakup. Acknowledging this is going to
help keep things fresh and honest, and will help PREVENT those old resentments from showing up.
Number two is the promise of change. Many people react to an imminent breakup with promises of CHANGE.
However, during an emotionally heated time such as an argument or a breakup, desperation tends to take over … and things like ‘realism’ and ‘truth’ tend to take a back seat. When there’s a lot at stake, most of us are willing to promise just about ANYTHING if it means we have a stab at getting what we want.
Here’s the thing: we all KNOW this. This phenomenon is familiar to most people on a deeply personal level. (After all, most of us have been in that situation first-hand.)
And that’s precisely why things like promises and vows during moments of high emotional duress are taken as LESS than meaningless by most people – because we know that, once the emotion subsides and ‘familiarity’ sets in again, promises made in the heat of the moment tend to just … fade away.
If you want your words to mean something, and if you want your partner to TRUST you, then use this knowledge to your advantage and steer AWAY from making ‘promises’ during emotional moments. That
way, when the RIGHT moment comes to discuss potential change, you’ll be far more likely to be believed – and your words will mean that much more.
(An added bonus: you’re also far less likely to promise more than you can deliver!)
Three: let the past GO. ‘Second chances’ in relationships often don’t work out, despite all those good intentions, simply because on or both of the people involved just CANNOT let go of past resentments.
To forgive someone means that you give up the right to EVER bring up that event again … and so it goes with ‘second chance’ relationships. If you decide to give it another shot, then it’s a good idea to have good old talk about how you’d both like things to be this time around … and then LET IT GO.
Look: obviously, the breakup happened because mistakes were made by both people. That’s why you will have to have a heart-to-heart (or several) about how to move forward appropriately and honestly
into a better future. But once you’ve got PAST the stage of ‘talking’, it really is IMPERATIVE that you both make a deliberate, conscious decision to relegate the past TO THE PAST, and NOT bring
it up again.
Remember, this is a ‘new relationship’ now – and you’ll never be able to move forward if you’re being dragged down by baggage from the past. Any resentments that haven’t been consciously dealt with
are enough to POLLUTE the future … for both of you.
One other suggestion before I go for the day is that you recognize the complexity of a breakup, and don’t put yourself through the hell of going it alone. If you want to get your ex back, you’ll do a MUCH better job – and you’ll avoid the numerous hard-to-spot pitfalls – if you have solid, ACCURATE information to rely on.
Right now Mirabelle is offering some special bonuses with her book that you should check out also. I strongly recommend that you get a copy of 2nd Chance because it could be a life changer for you==>>