by Christian Carter
If you find yourself stuck in the pattern of meeting men who can’t wait to get to know you better and “date” you… but who turn out to have no idea what they want when it comes time to grow together in a RELATIONSHIP with you, then I’ve got news for you- The fact that this is a repeating pattern means it’s NOT just about men not “getting it.”
You are playing a part here too. And as strange as it sounds right now, this is actually good news.
Why? Because you have the power to change this pattern for yourself, and to bring the kind of love that will grow and last into your life. Stop wasting your precious time and energy, and connect with the right man in the right way that will have him begging you for more- instead of resisting you and a relationship.
You know what irks a lot of women about men? I hear this all the time–
They just don’t get how they can go on amazing and fun dates with a man, have deep conversations together, and feel a great connection where the man obviously knows what a special thing they have… But STILL the man will be on the fence as to whether or not he’s “ready” for a REAL RELATIONSHIP.
Of course he’s ready enough to want to get close to you PHYSICALLY and sleep together, right? Exactly. The truth is that a man can feel close with a woman and enjoy spending tons of time with her and be physical and intimate, but still never have that feeling like she’s “The One.” And a man can be with a woman and tell her how great she is, which leads a woman to believe that this means there’s a great future between them- When the only thing he wants is to be with her FOR NOW.
And as for anything more in the future, he couldn’t say and would pull away if the woman he was with even simply mentioned “the R word.” “Relationship.”
Why are men like this? And what can you do about it so that the man you open up to and share a great connection with isn’t so “wishy-washy” with you?
I’ll explain a few of the reasons men think and act this way, plus, I’ll reveal two things you can do to help secure that spot in your man’s heart and mind as the “one and only” woman for him. Let’s get started.
First off, let’s take a look at how men and women think and feel about dating and being single.
It’s important for you to know that men’s attitudes are generally much different than women’s. In case you haven’t noticed, lots of men like being single because they enjoy casual dating and the “freedom” that comes with it. They don’t always consider or think about the “big picture” of where things are headed when they’re dating a woman.
Most guys just don’t think that way. If they feel good when they’re with you, they’ll continue to see you, sleep with you and enjoy the connection you share.
But that doesn’t mean they’re telling their friends and family about you or that they’re daydreaming about what kind of house you’ll buy together, or what it might be like when you’re in a committed relationship full of love and support.
On the other hand, most women usually approach dating as a means to an end… the end being a committed and “real” relationship that’s GOING SOMEWHERE. Most women don’t enjoy “dating around”, and if they feel a connection with a man, they usually end up thinking in acting in ways that are what constitute a more serious and committed relationship before there really is a relationship.
This isn’t how things work for men though… If a woman goes on a couple of dates in a few weeks or a month, she’ll probably feel a bit frustrated that she hasn’t found the right guy yet. If a guy goes on 5 or 10 or more dates in a month, he’ll feel like he’s living it up.
And sure, there are exceptions to this rule, and there are plenty of women out there who can and do “date” a lot… but those are different circumstances.
Many men tend to enjoy just dating and being single, and they aren’t too worried about when they’ll “settle down” with any one woman for a more committed and long-term situation. They think – when it happens, it happens.
These are the kind of guys who really enjoy the freedom of being a “confirmed bachelor” because they feel they can follow opportunities in their personal lives and careers. They like having “options.” And yes, even when it comes to women.
No wonder there can be a HUGE disconnect with what men and women expect from each other even from the very beginning after date #1.
A woman will meet a great guy and get excited that her love life will “finally” go somewhere and she won’t have to date anymore. A man will meet a great woman and he may think he’s found someone he can enjoy getting to know and go do fun stuff with… even while he’s casually meeting other interesting women.
You’re starting to see some of the differences here that can end up making lots of women get upset, frustrated and feel a little less than confident and appreciated from the start with a man. I know… you’re probably shaking your head right now wondering how men and women EVER get together with this sort of disconnect going on.
It can make things seem impossible. But don’t let what seems like a problem in your life create more problems in your head.
There’s something you should know. A kind of subtle and hard to recognize truth about even the most hardened lifelong bachelors… It’s that even though a man has a strong desire to be “free” and single, he’s more VULNERABLE than you could ever imagine to one thing that can and will override his desire for freedom and autonomy.
It even overrides some men’s superficial desire to date a lot of women at the same time, just because they can.
This one thing can make a man who’s intent on “playing around” suddenly stop looking around the corner for the next woman… because he wants to be with you and ONLY YOU. It is my belief, and my personal experience, that any man can quickly and suddenly be transformed when he finds the right woman. I’ve seen literally hundreds and thousands of men who have been transformed in this way, and I’ve also been one of them myself.
The fact is… ANY MAN can completely change his mind about being single when he meets a woman he knows is the one and feels that deep level of ATTRACTION for her.
Of course, I’m not talking about the every day kind of attraction that mostly Physical. I’m talking about the kind of attraction that literally INSPIRES a man to want to be a better man, and a great boyfriend, just because. I’m talking about the kind of attraction that fills a man with the overwhelming emotions of love and appreciation.
I’m talking about the kind of attraction that fills a man’s heart for the first time with love and changes him from the inside out.
From Sarah: You’ll want to get Christian’s free eletters – they’re all amazing, like this one, and once he’s sent them out, you won’t see them again (except here – and I’m working my way through my favorites for you) – just go here to learn more about how Christian knows so much about women (oh, and he SO does…) and to get his free advice->